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This Guy Wouldn't Last On Twitter

Posted by Michael J. Sielaff on September 5, 2013 at 7:30 PM Comments comments (46)

This message was sent to Megan, 26, from Huntington Beach, CA: 

"After finding you here I wanted to write you and see if perhaps I catch your eye as you have mine. After seeing your shots…Gee, you don’t know how to take a “bad” picture do ya? lol Along with your laughing eyes, very soothing smile and your beautiful hair I can see where any man would be proud to have you on his arm, to barrow a phrase from another time. As I'm sure you can already tell, I enjoy writing. I like to draw a picture with words so welcome to my canvas. I’m a romantic when it comes to the woman in my life. A bit old fashioned and there is definitely something to be said for the chase. Courting just has a way of building value in a Lady, Romance is a MUST! I adore holding hands, subtle glances across a crowded room where only we know what we are secretly thinking, kissing slowly and yes looking into each others eyes says volumes. Cuddling on the couch watching a movie, with you snuggled back against me, my arms around you. Mmmm… How about cooking a meal together? The road trip thing is especially near and dear to me, so many people fly from point A to B and never see the sights in between. By getting out in the country you get to meet the people and take the “road less traveled” lets say this type of travel is always a more intimate time no matter where you are. While I have flown all over the world and it is a passion, I have been a private pilot since the age of 16 and was fortunate enough to fly a P-51 Mustang professionally in the air show circuit for a number of years. What a plane! I had three horses for years, brown and white Paints, one Pinto ½ Arabian, truck trailer and tack. Did my share of cowboy’n on my grandparents cattle ranch, was a surfer here at home in Huntington Beach, I’m bout the only “Surfer turned Cowboy” your gonna find. lol I’m a man who honors and respects a women and am in search of "the One." I don’t seek a “type” of woman in that I'm not lookin for a height, a hair color etc... However I am seeking a lady with a heart that can accept and give love is sweet and loyal and can count on me too. As I am fond of saying, "For the right woman, there's nothing I wouldn't do!" Musically, I like everything from classic rock, Country, Disco to Bach, and from Flea markets to the Hollywood Bowl. Gardening, BBQ’s, Pic nicks, camping, fishing enjoying the outdoors together, watching the stars pass overhead, enjoying a campfire and yes Resorts are good too! Have ya ever been to the central coast? Pismo Beach, Avilla Beach, Morro Bay etc…? A great weekend! I think we just may compliment each other so read my profile and let me know if there is indeed an interest and perhaps we can explore a path together. Let me know if I made the cut? With a Wink & a Smile!  -Rick"

Best part?  Rick is 55.

But things were going so well...

Posted by Michael J. Sielaff on June 10, 2013 at 10:15 PM Comments comments (12)


What's your favorite Arnold film? I gotta go with Junior.


안녕 당분간,



Korean!! Hmm... Junior is great, but I gotta go with a tie between Predator and Commando.


And hi Michael, I'm Rikki!



Wow- we both didn't say Terminator. How did you get started Fencing? That's definitely a sport I'd love to try. And how do you pronounce your name (mine is pronounced Mic-hall :)?  Hasta la vista!


Mic-hall, really? That's pretty sweet. Mine's pronounced like Ricky, Nikki with a 'r,' you get the idea. I started fencing in high school; it was the only sport I was good at, so I ran with it. How do you like teaching?


I'll be back... (to write another message? okay, that was a stretch).



How do I like teaching? I love it! Working with kids is the most rewarding work I've ever done- their energy, curiosity and honesty always bring me back.

So are you more of a foil, sabre or epee type of gal? (Okay, I cheated and looked those terms up on Wikipedia) Either way, you seem pretty dangerous... how do I know you won't slice me like a cantaloupe when we meet up? Speaking of food, what's balut?


"It's not a tumor!" (seriously, it's just my adam's apple),



P.S. Oh, and I kinda feel like an idiot about not knowing how to pronounce your name (I've never seen that spelling of Rikki before)...sorry 'bout that!


얼마 한국어를 당신은 지난 몇달간에서 배웠는가?

Is This Mic On?

Posted by Michael J. Sielaff on June 6, 2013 at 8:35 PM Comments comments (13)

"I was going to get my entire left arm tattooed with a motorcycle gang smoking weed while shooting their guns to impress you, but then I read you're profile more closely.  So I'm changing a lot in order to make this work.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bun in the oven that needs tending to..."        -twotoedsloth, OkCupid



Do your feet get wet in the rain because you like to jump in puddles or because you have poorly insulated shoes? If it's the latter, I know a guy... (8/24/12, 5:06pm)


I jump in puddles with poorly insulated shoes! (8/24/12 - 8:58pm)


I like to jump on poodles with poorly insulated common sense. Don't tell PETA. (8/27/12 - 3:50pm)

[No response]


You told PETA, didn't you? (9/6/12 - 10:33am)


"Ultrasound (is that a play on words because you're into live shows?), huh? Maybe you can help me...I'm in the second week of my 1st trimester and was wondering if I should have an ultrasound done."  -twotoedsloth

Trying To Relate...

Posted by Michael J. Sielaff on June 6, 2013 at 8:20 PM Comments comments (9)

"You're studying rocket science?! Sweet! I always wanted to be an astronaut, but had to give up the dream in middle school when I out grew the height specifications (I bet NASA's intramural basketball team isn't very good). I suppose I'll just wait until trips to the moon (or Mars) come down in price..."       -twotoedsloth, OkCupid

"I always enjoyed city planning myself- or does Sim City 2000 not count?"      -twotoedsloth

"A 3rd wave coffee shop is where the 3rd person who waves at you has to buy you a drink of your choice...right?"  -twotoedsloth

"You rap? 'Ight, I'll lay a beat down and you freestyle....


Poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo, poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo, poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo

Poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo, poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo, poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo


Poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo, poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo, poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo

Poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo, poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo, poo-pa-chick-cha-poo-poo"          -twotoedsloth

"Hey, I'm half white and half tan, so at least we have something in common.  And we're both actors...I'm too pretty for the modeling industry."  -twotoedsloth